Little Sister

By Danielle Shaw
Age 18
Brown School

The little girl that I once knew is gone.
This teenage child that stands before me and acts all bad, cannot possibly be the little girl that I once knew.

I remember a little girl that would laugh at the smallest things and make you laugh out loud with her.
An angelic little critter that had a smile that would light up the room, I've seen her take her first step, her first day of preschool.

I am a sister that is a mother.
I'm a person that sees her good side as well as the bad.
She was an innocent little angel.
I see a scared little girl in her still.

When I looked at her then I saw a short beige little girl, long straight hair with a touch of curl at the side.
Dressed in a pink frilly dress with white lace on the bottom.
Dancing in circles, like a little ballerina dancer in a windup jewelry box.

She held out the bottom of her dress, she started to wave it around.
Saying mommy look, look sissy.
How peaceful and serene she was.

Weird how I see a small child, when others see a brat that is 15 and acts 25.
She wants her way or no way.
Respects no one that does not give her what she wants.
I've often thought
"If I had anything to do with making her the way she is..."

Spoiled, self-centered and bratty; a kid you just want to kill.
I still can see taking her to her dance classes. Watching her recitals, how wonderful this person was.
Not now! Running around getting in trouble with the cops.
Getting sent to JCYC for a night.
Carrying knives in her purse "to protect herself" so she says.

Fearing that one day, a call will come in saying that they have found her frail body in a ditch.
Saying we need you to identify her body for us.
I am scared for her life!
She is not all that bad even though she calls me names like ***, ****, **.
I love my sister! I helped take responsibility for her.
Her dad left, just my mom and I raised her.
I know right from wrong; she does too, yet why does she do this?
Accept her for what and who she is.
I wish to say these words to you.
I love your "L.D.R."

     --Sissy